O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
