Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
