I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
