so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
she peed on how many people?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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