so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just found a bag of teeth...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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