Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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