You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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