That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
