Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
