I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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