I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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