i jhust puked up my retainher.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Someone signed my nipple.
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