Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
