You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
