that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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