It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
