WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
