So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
