so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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