Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
