I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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