Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
