Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
