Heybabeimwearingurpanties
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
