I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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