oh god the rape fog is back!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
