You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
