So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
