She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
