Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
