It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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