I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
