Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
