Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
