I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
