You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
