Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
