OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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