shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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