i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
