This girl is more easily done than said...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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