I haven't been this sober since birth.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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