I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
