i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
