the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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