There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
