you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
