Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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