So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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