Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
