She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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