ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The best revenge is premature balding
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
